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How to Be Baby: Ur 5-Step Guide

 

u may caption ur selfies i’m baby, repost memes of kirby pointing at a whiteboard, claim baby yoda as ur mascot, and reject the societally-imposed expectations of “adult” life, but are u really embracing what it means to be baby? i’m baby is not just a fad; it’s a way of life, a state of being, a spiritual awakening even. or maybe it’s just about being cute and comfy—both physically and mentally. if u wanna join the i’m baby revolution, follow our easy 5-step guide to being baby.

Step 1: Always be comfy

when ur baby, ur only responsibilities are napping, playin’ wit ur plushies, n bein’ cute! to do all that, ur gonna need a cozy outfit. the brand new, limited edition i’m baby cropped hoodie and sweatpant set is ur ultimate i’m baby uniform, perfect for lounging around the crib all day n doin’ whatever tf u want! but bein’ baby is way more than just cozy clothes, it’s just as important to be comfy in ur own skin. let’s face it, babies haven’t been tainted by society, haven’t learned to be self-conscious, don’t have any type ego...because they literally don’t understand that they exist (how we should all aspire to be, imo). no thoughts, head empty, just vibes.

Step 2: Be pretty in pink

if there’s any belief system actually worth abiding by, it’s this: everything's better when it’s pink. pink is the only color that matters, and that’s why the classic i’m baby set and the limited-edition rhinestone sets are printed in baby’s fave color: baby pink. ur not a spoiled brat for treatin urself to some pink goodies, especially if ur supporting small businesses while ur at it! at the end of a loong day of shopping small, u can snuggle up wit ur Sweet N Disgusting plushies, spark up n chill out wit all ur Baked Bunny smoke accessories, lay ur head down on ur Valfré cherub heart pillow, and slide on ur Dolly’s Dream House Sweet Dreams sleep mask to get ur beauty rest.

 

Step 3: Sparkle whenever possible

 

babies absolutely love shiny things, so when it comes to being baby, the more sparkles, the better! the limited edition bubblegum pink rhinestone sets are here to give u ur daily dose of sparkle and then some. we will let u in on our lil secret tho….the kirakira+ app or any other comparable free sparkle effect cam can really help capture ur rhinestones’ bling on camera.

 

 

Step 4: Say what's on ur mind

babies never keep quiet if they want something, and that’s how u should be too! speak ur mind; ask for what u want when u want it, say what u need when u need it, and don’t hold back for anybody. whether it’s somethin tiny like bein hungry, or something more major like needing attention n support, speak up baby!

 

Step 5: Be baby all the time

if u just forget the construct of time, u can be baby from the moment u wake up in the morning to the instant u drift off to sleep at nite. time is irrelevant anyway, so we replaced those boring old numbers with ur favorite phrase on this limited edition i’m baby all the time clock that’s comin' soon in collaboration wit Culture Clocks.

 

Testimonial

honey aka @cwunchie is living proof that if u follow all these steps, u too can be baby. she earned bonus baby points, embracing the i’m baby lifestyle with such dedication that she was featured in a VICE article, wearing none other than the classic i’m baby crop tee ;)

 

 

 

Written by Joely Phenes and Stephanie Wrobleski

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