by Joely Phenes and Stephanie Wrobleski
‘twas the night before hexmas, when all through the flat,
not a creature was stirring, not even a rat;
so i slipped on my thigh high stockings with care,
all in hopes that hex girl soon would be there;
the babies were nestled all snug in their beds;
while dreams of i’m baby sets danced in their heads;
and i, dressed in hex girl, from my head to my toes,
had laid myself down for a much-needed doze,
when out of the darkness arose such a sound
i woke from my nap to see what was around
away to the window i flew like a bat,
and threw on my reflective classic logo hat.
the light from the moon made the snow outside glisten,
reminding me of the coveted rhinestone set (limited edition)
when what to my dreamy surprise did I see,
but hex girl’s little helpers: the seven tiny cuties,
with a beautiful leader so cool and well-dressed,
i knew in a moment she must be ms. hex.
lovelier than doves, her angels they came,
and she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“now, robby! now, dotty! now slothy and koko!
on, spikey! on, bunny! on goldie and go go!
to the top of the flat! to the top of the wall!
now dance away! dance away! dance away all!”
as cherubs that come from the heavens up high,
their little wings carried them up to the sky;
so up to the rooftop the cuties they flew
with hands full of presents, and hex girl there too--
and then from the roof came a musical beat,
the sound of the cuties tapping their feet.
the noises stopped, but then with a boom
hex girl and her cuties appeared in my room.
she was dressed for the season in a santa baby tee,
and a red santa hat that looked so warm and fuzzy;
in her black bag she carried a big bunch of gifts
to grant each customer’s most earnest hexmas wish.
her eyes twinkled with thoughts of a hexmas so merry!
her cheeks were like roses, her sleeves red as a cherry!
in her hand was a present tied up with a bow,
with mischief in her smile she was ready to go.
she puffed on the joint that she rolled like a pro,
the smoke whirled around her head in the shape of a halo;
her bad bettie kit, with her baked bunny pipe,
was filled with papers and roach clips alike.
she was happy and giggly, enjoying her high,
and she offered a hit so I gave it a try.
it tasted like cherry and sugar plum treats,
a magical smoke that was so very sweet;
she spoke not a word, but knelt down on her knee
and she placed some packages under the tree,
but there was one present that stuck out to me,
wrapped with baby yoda paper, the cutest in the galaxy.
she sprang to the door and they left in a jif,
so I went to the tree to open my gift.
and as the rhinestones of the i’m baby set sparkled in the light,
hex girl sang “merry hexmas to all, and to all a good night!”
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